Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
