What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
