Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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