An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
