I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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