why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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