Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
