I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
