My room smells like vodka and shame
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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