Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
