He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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