No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We had sex on a dog bed..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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