Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
