i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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