Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
