dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
