Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
