You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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