He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
