Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
