just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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