dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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