So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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