So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
