I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
