chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
