If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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