As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
