capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
