Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
