finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
