in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize