I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
