I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
