Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The beer is more important than you right now.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
you made out with another girl for some wings
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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