Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
