we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
