they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
