are you still at the devil's house?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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