We should be called the Road Head Warriors
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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