he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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