Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize