sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
...so i touched it.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
