You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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