When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
