I wish my penis had an off switch
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize