just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
