She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
