I'm gonna have a badass scar
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
