If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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