i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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