K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
