ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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