The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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