I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
