I cockslap morals
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
