For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
