Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
